On a certain mailing list that I belong to, I like to post little stories known as Gutter Stories. What follows are the offerings that I have posted, along with some from other authors. (Please, excuse any typos...these were written at the spur of the moment.) We lay no claim to the characters.
These stories are meant to be all in fun. In other words, if you can't stand the smut, get outta the gutter.

Gutter Offerings

Stories By Lillandra

Gutter #1 Boxers Or BriefsTim's Glasses Visit The Past Lemon Meringue Pie Miguel's Energy The Hike Poker Studs Masquerade Party The Present Krieg's Picnic Tim's Turn The Beach Sunburn Solutions Heh heh ehe Birthday Surprise Back To The Beach PushWinter Chills

Stories by Kate


For those not familiar with the characters.

Gutter #1

You're walking along the edge of the gutter, acting totally natural...(well, as natural as you can look while watching the cabana boys)..when, suddenly, you trip! (Ohno!!)

You land full force on Kreig's lap, surprising him. You look at him evenly, kiss the tip of his nose, then hop off. He runs after you, sending you straight into the arms of Jim Brody.

Brody, being the gentleman he is, protects you. You cling to him tightly (sigh), and stick your tongue out at Kreig.

Kreig gets "mad", and shoves the two of you in the gutter....splashing Miguel, who is lounging on the side.(oh, mamma)

Migs gets up, and pushes Kreig in. Then he jumps in, and the three of them take turns "teasing" you. You fight back (yeah, right) and protest weakly.

Tony pops up from out of the water, where he has been relaxing. He sees that there is fun happening, and he wants to be involved. He swims under water, grabs you by the foot, and hauls you under...tickling you all the way.

Both Miguel and Brody dive under to rescue you, and while they get you, Krieg spots another lady at the side of the gutter and heads on over.

Brody finally gets you out of Tony's clutches, and decides that you have had enough water for the day. Tony grumbles something about 'always being outranked, even in the gutter', and swims to where Kreig is hitting on the other lady.

Brody carries (sigh) you out of the gutter, and places you gently on the reclining lawn chair. He sits beside you, asking you if you are all right. Then, a shadow falls over you, and you look up into Miguel's deep, soft, brown eyes. He informs Brody that Ford is looking for him.

Brody sighs, gets up, and leaves…but not before telling you that he is not finished with you yet.(YES!). Miguel watches him leave, turns to you with a conspiratorial(?) grin, and plops down on the lawn chair beside you. As he leans in close to whisper in your ear, you can't help thinking "VIVE LA GUTTER!!!!!!" (damn, I hope I spelled that right) That is the thought for the day......enjoy!

Gutter Index


Boxers Or Briefs?

You roll over in bed, get comfortable, and are soon fast asleep. Your mind starts to drift through the ocean, bringing you ever closer to your intended target. Wait...what's that ahead? You peer through the mirky waters at the road sign ahead....whoops…sorry, wrong story. *Ahem* You feel nothing as your body drifts silently through the bio genetic skin of the seaQuest DSV hull, and you look around to make sure you have not been seen.

Your mission, if you chose to accept it is....damn it!…wrong story again! I gotta stop watching classic t.v.! Now, where was I? Oh, yes. On this little dream journey, your mind has decided that it cannot go another day without knowing the ultimate question... Lieutenant James Brody....boxers, or briefs.

You walk down the hall in search of his room...the only problem is, you don't know WHERE his room is. Well, might as well try them all!!! (TEE-HEE)

You effortlessly drift through a door, and go to the bed. The man sleeping there is obviously not Brody. You pull back the covers anyway. Hmmmmm.....Ford wears boxers? Whatta ya know. Awww...isn't that cute...they have little submarines on them.

In the next room, you find Tony. He is sleeping with one leg on top of the blankets, so you can plainly see that he is wearing CK briefs...and rather nice ones at that.

In Tim O'Neill's room you find him wrapped in his blankets so tight, that you can only guess at what he wears to bed. (I shall allow you all to use your own gutter minds at this time).

You sense that you are going to awaken soon, so you hurry onto the next room....only to find Miguel in the bed.(pause for reflective thought). You pull back the blankets, only to find that he does not wear briefs...or boxers for that matter! (Miguel, I salute you!!) Well, that solves another one of the serious questions that you have been pondering. You stare open-mouthed.

An hour later you leave his room(heh heh ehe), and head for the next one.

FINALLY, you have made it to Brody's room...only to find that he is not in bed. (naw, sorry...I wouldn't do that to you . LOL.) Brody is sound asleep, a peaceful look on his face, and a little drool at the corner of his mouth (yeah, like THAT'S attractive). You gently pull back the covers to reveal....

***BRRRINNNNGGG**** DAMN ALARM CLOCK!!!!! Always goes off when you don't want it to!!!!!!!! Well, you think you remember what you saw in Brody's quarters, but you can't be sure. Oh, well, there's always the next dream!

Gutter Index


Tim's Glasses

It's Monday, and once again you dream that you are on the seaQuest. The quest today is to find out how long it would take for you to get Lieutenant(jg)Tim O'Neill to take his glasses off.

You somehow assume the form of a crew member, and are able to move freely throughout the sub. You make your way to the bridge, and up to Tim as he sits at his console. He smiles up at you.

"Oh," you say, "Your glasses are a little smudgy."

"They are?" He goes to take them off. Easy breezy you think.....just then, an alarm sounds throughout the sub. Curses!

Tim turns to his console quickly, the glasses totally forgotten. You rush to where you think your console might be, sit down, and stop as you feel something soft under your...uh...butt. You reach down with one hand, feel, and wonder what that is.

"Not that I'm complaining," a voice says from behind you, "but would you get up so I can work?"

You turn in your seat, and grow wide eyed when you realize that you are sitting on Miguel Ortiz' lap. (I pause now to reflect on that thought.......*sigh*) You jump up quickly, mumble your apologies, and move away.

You decide that the best place for you to be is tucked away in a corner someplace. You stand quietly, and notice that Miguel is glancing at you every so often...and that Lonnie is glaring at you.

The alarms quickly subside (I think it was a trapped jelly fish that they had to rescue), and you head back to Tim to finish your mission. As you make your way down the steps, Miguel stands up and blocks your path.

"What's your hurry?" he asks sweetly.

" ...ahhhhhh....." your mind goes blank as you gaze into those beautiful eyes, and go weak at the knees when he leans forward to.......WHOOPS!!!..heh heh ehe....sorry...that's NEXT week's story.

Now, where was I? ahh...yes.......You make your way down the steps toward Tim, only to discover that he has gone on his break.

You run off of the bridge, and straight into Jim Brody. "What's your hurry?" he asks sweetly.

" ...ahhhhhh....." your mind goes blank as you gaze into those beautiful eyes, and go weak at the knees when he leans forward to.......WHOOPS!!!..heh heh ehe....sorry...that's also NEXT week's story.

You run off the bridge, and head down the hall. Lunch....he must be at lunch you think as you approach the mess hall (Or whatever they call it on a sub).

There he is!!!!!! Uh-oh...he's sitting with Lonnie, and at the moment, you're not exactly her favorite person. You bravely walk forward, and stand in front of the table.

"Mind if I join you?" you purr.

"Not..not...not at all," Tim stammers.

You point at his glasses. "You still have that smudge."

"I do?" he goes to take them off.

"They're fine Tim," Lonnie says, causing him to leave the glasses where they are.

Curses!! Foiled again!!!!

Later in the day------

All right...every little trick you have tried has failed! The smudge routine lasted for about five tries, before Tim realized that there was something up. THEN, Tony told him that you had a bet with a bunch of other "chicks" that you could get him to take off his glasses.

Now, Tim is avoiding you like the plague.

Frustrated, you start to think of a more non-subtle approach. You get to the mess hall during dinner, walk up to Tim with a glass of milk, and say,"The glasses, or it's moo juice time!!"

He stands quickly, and stares at you. "You wouldn't dare!"

You smile slightly, and toss the milk at him. He ducks, and the milk lands all over the two people sitting behind him. They quickly salute Captain Bridger and Commander Ford,....then run for your life.

OHMIGOSH!!!! I am sooooooo dead! You bang into Tony in the hallway, grab him by the collar, and drag him into an empty room.

"Hey!" he protests.

"Now listen here, pally," you growl, "it's your fault that I just covered the brass in moo juice."

Tony looks confused, then starts to laugh. "Serves you right!! hahahahahahahahahahaha."

He won't stop laughing, so you figure the only way to silence him is with a kiss. After the kiss, Tony promises to help you get Tim's glasses off. He walks out of the room, as you smile slightly at his back. Like shooting fish in a barrel

You watch from the safety of the hall as Tony walks up to Tim, reaches out, and knocks the glasses askew. Tim frowns, takes his glasses off, and puts them back on. D-OH! Why didn't YOU think of that!!???

Tony smiles as he approaches you, and whispers in your ear, "Now, where's that reward you promised me?"

You smile back, "Right here," you whisper, reach behind your back, and pull out a mop.

Tony frowns. "What?"

Just then, Captain Bridger and Ford come around the corner. Bridger glances at you. "The Ensign here was happy enough to let us know that you volunteered to help her clean up the mess she made in the mess hall earlier."

Ford tried not to laugh at Tony's expression.

Tony muttered, and turned to you. "Some reward."

"Oh, it gets better," you say as you look at your watch. "My alarm should be going off anytime you get to clean the floor by yourself."

Tony starts to complain, but you vanish......thanks to your alarm clock.

Gutter Index


Visit The Past

The date is : May 21, 1989 (Just a random date..nothing attached to it)

The setting is : a dance club.



Now, somehow, the crew of the seaQuest has encountered an anomaly that has sent them back to 1989 (hey, it could happen!). They decide to send out a team on a fact finding mission, to see why they are here. On this team is "Jim Brody, Miguel Ortiz, Tony Piccolo...Picollo....uh..Picolo?, Tim O'Neill (hey, it could happen!), and John Ford."

The brave men venture forth, and soon come across a rather noisy establishment. Ford wonders if they should go in, and, seeing all the women inside through the glass doors, he is quickly persuaded. They enter.

You are sitting at the bar, enjoying your (insert favorite drink here), and you blink at the sight of these men. The evenings looking up already. After being hit on by every jerk in the joint, you welcome the chance to meet some real men.

Tony makes a bee line to the bar, orders a beer, and turns to you.

"Hi," he says.

You eye him over, and liking what you see, you say hello back. "Come here often?" you ask.

"Just got into town," he says easily. He looks at a book of matches, and then at you. "This is my first time in Vancouver." (Hey! I can use my own home town!!)

"Where are you from?"

"New York," he says.

Just then, his friends join him, and you subtly wipe the drool from your chin. My gosh!!! They are gorgeous!!!!!

"Hey Tony," the tall Latino-drop-dead-gorgeous-guy says, "Who's your friend?"

Tony shoots him a nasty look, "I was just gettin' to that." He turns to you. "Hi, I'm Tony."

He introduces the rest of his group. The man named Ford, obviously the leader, pulls the guy with the glasses, Tim, aside.....leaving you with three very nice looking guys.

HA!!! That'll teach my friends to dump me here and take off with those band members.

"Pardon me," Jim says," but would you like to dance?"

"Sure," you answer.

Tony gives him a dirty look. Jim grins back. "You snooze, you lose."

You make your way to the dance floor, your heart grateful that a slow song is beginning. He puts his arms around you, and you lean into him. You make small talk as the two of you move across the floor, and you start to wonder at the direction his questions are taking. What year is this? Where are we? Do you have a boyfriend?

You pull back and look up at him. "You didn't just escape from somewhere did you?"

He turns red. "Uh, no....we're from the future."

Oh, great...nut jobs!!! Figures! "The future?" you ask skeptically.

He nods.

"Okay, I'll play far in the future?"

"About 35 years," he says.

You laugh. "That far? Well, I guess that you're not even born yet??"

"Nope," he laughs. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"Yep." You smile. "But you're cute, so it really doesn't matter."

His response is cute off by a tap on the shoulder.

"Hey," Miguel says, "you're needed over there." He points to the rest of the group.

Jim sighs, says he's sorry, and walks away.

You look at the other man, and command yourself not to drool at the sight of him. Before you know it, you are in his arms, and he is whisking you across the dance floor. Jim approaches again.

"No one needed me over there."

"I needed you over there," Miguel said lightly, and dances you away from an astonished Brody.

You laugh, and enjoy the feel of him against your body.

The night goes by too quickly, and before you know it, it is time for your new friends to leave.

"Will I ever see you again?" you ask.

Miguel smiles. "It's always a possibility." He looks around, makes sure no one is watching, then leans forward. You look into his eyes, and go weak at the knees. He gets closer, and kisses you gently on the lips. The feeling lingers for a few minutes...I mean seconds....naw, hell...minutes!!!!

He pulls away and looks at you. "You never did tell me your name."

You tell him, and his eyes widen momentarily.


The group makes its way back to the seaQuest, satisfied that they have all the information they need. Brody is griping to Miguel about how he "stole" his date, and Miguel is nodding in agreement.

"She wasn't your type Jim."

"How would you know?"

"I just do," Miguel says mysteriously.


You sit at the bar, wishing that you were back in Miguel's arms for one last dance. You smile at the remembered image of Jim. He seemed like a nice guy....even if you never knew his last name.

The future? you laugh. Oi.....too funny.

You go to leave, and wave at the bartender. "Night, Nathan."

He smiles at you, and goes back to his summer job....the one putting him through college before he joins the navy. "Hey," he says.

You turn around.

"Who were those guys?"

"Time travelers," you say seriously.

He laughs, "Night, Alison."

The end.

Okay, so maybe I'm not too exact on the date/timeline here, but ....hey........(and, this took place before "When We Dead Awaken")

Gutter Index


Lemon Meringue Pie

You once again find yourself on the seaQuest. You have just come back from leave, and have a gift for Captain Bridger.

You had overheard him talking about this little bakery in the city you were going to, that made the “greatest lemon meringue pies ever”. So, realizing the importance of sucking up to the powers that be on the sub, you pick up one of these pies for your beloved captain.

However, news of your purchase has already reached the ears of the resident chowhounds, and they will stop at nothing to relieve you of the pie.

You are heading for the bridge, after stowing your belongings in your quarters. Tony pops out in front of you, blocking your path. He asks what’s in the box you are carrying. You tell him that it is a gift for the captain, and continue to walk.

He follows, eyeing the box the entire time. He offers you 20 dollars for the pie, you refuse, and then he offers 30.

You consider, but realize that the “sucking up” would be more beneficial to you.

Tony then says that he would do anything for a piece of that pie.

You stop walking. “Anything?”

“Yep.” (Yowza!)

“Let me give that some thought,” you say.

He smiles at you, “Just don’t think too long, k?” He puts his face near the box, and inhales deeply. His eyes glaze over in ‘pie-lust’, and you make your escape.

You are about 5 minutes from the bridge, when Miguel suddenly materializes in front of you.

“What’s the rush?” he asks sweetly.

“I have to get this to the bridge,” you say and hold up the box.

He eyes it hungrily, and offers to carry it for you. You back away slightly.

“You know,” he continues, “I was just now thinking that I would do anything for something tart, but sweet too the taste.” (Whew…is it getting hot in here?)

“Really?” you ask as you take your lip-gloss out of your pocket and apply it.

You lean towards him as he nods, and kiss him full on the lips. He jumps, slightly startled, and then kisses you back. You pull away.

Miguel runs his tongue across his lips, tasting your lip-gloss. “Cherry,” he comments.

You nod. “Tart, yet sweet.....satisfied?”

He nods dumbly, and you make your getaway. Miguel finally realizes that you tricked him, and starts after you.

He grabs you around the waist, and you squeal in delight. He turns you around, backs you up against the wall, and leans close. (Are you sure it’s not hot in here??)

“That wasn’t fair,” he whispers. “Now, I want a piece.” (Of the pie?…heh heh ehe)

You stare into his big eyes, ready to give him anything he wants, when a shadow falls across you. Miguel glances behind him, quickly lets go of you (DAMN!).

“Uhhhh…” he stammers.

Jim Brody looks slightly amused. “May I ask what you are doing?”

Miguel motions to the box. “She has pie!”

Brody nods slightly. “And you had her backed into the wall because…?”

Miguel turns a bright shade of red. “Um…because I wanted a piece?”

You burst out laughing, causing Miguel to turn even redder. Brody is making an effort not to laugh. Miguel huffs, and walks away.

You look at Brody. He has just finished working out, and is wearing a tank top and shorts. His hair is damp, and he smells slightly of sweat (The nice smelling kind, not the *gag* sweat smell).

He smiles at you. ‘Sooo…” he starts, “You have pie?”

You sigh. “Yes…it’s a gift for the captain.”

As Head of Security, Brody offers to escort you to the bridge. You agree, and start to walk.

“You know,” he says, “I think I would do just about anything for a piece of that pie.”

“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?”

You both stop walking.

“The food here has been terrible lately...sure I can’t tempt you for that pie?” he asks as he leans close to you.

“Are you guys trying to turn me into a pie pimp?” you ask weakly.

He runs a finger along your cheek. “You know, I’ve been watching you lately. How would you like to get to know each other better?” (OHMIGOD!)

You swallow hard. “Umm…okay,” you say.

He smiles. “Just so you know…I would have asked that even if you didn’t have that pie.” He pauses. “Can I just have a taste of the meringue?”

“Well…I suppose.” You open the box, dip your finger in the meringue, and hold it out to him. Instead of taking it off of your finger with his, he puts his mouth to it, and licks it off.

“Mmmm…great…best pie that I have ever tasted.”

You are about to faint from delight when you hear voices coming down the hall. Brody quickly moves away from you.

Captain Bridger and Commander Ford come around the corner.

“Uh, sir?” you say.

Bridger smiles at you. “Yes, Ensign?”

You hold out the box. “I know it’s not customary, but I got you this on my leave.”

He takes the box, opens it, and smiles again. “Is this what I think it is?”

You nod. “I…uh…overheard you talking about the pies this bakery made, so I picked one up for you.”

Bridger looks pleased. “Thank you very much. I appreciate it.”


Later that evening, you invite Tony, Miguel, and Jim to one of the recreation rooms. You pull out a box, and smile at them.

“Remember what you three said earlier? That you would do anything for a piece of that pie?”

They nod in agreement. You open the box.

“Well, it just so happens that I bought two pies on my leave.”

They stare at you, open-mouthed.

“Now, shall we discuss those ‘anything’s?’”


Now, just what WERE those ‘anything’s’ you discussed? Well, you can either use your imagination, or read on.

Tony agreed to do your laundry and clean your quarters (while wearing a smile) for a whole month for a piece of the pie.

Brody agreed to play a game of strip pool...I mean straight pool with you, while he’s wearing a kilt (traditionally, of course). AND, you get to find out if he IS wearing it traditionally.

Miguel agreed to...well, never mind what he agreed to do, suffice to say that it involves cherry lipgloss, and the remainder of the lemon meringue pie.

Gutter Index


Miguel's Energy

You are once again on the seaQuest. You are walking down the hall, when someone rushes around the corner and nearly knocks you over. Strong arms reach out to grab you before you can hit the deck, and you look up into the eyes of Miguel Ortiz.

“What’s the rush?” you ask.

“Sorry about that,” he says, but doesn’t let go. “I seem to have all this extra energy today.”

You smile slightly. “Well, I think I just might be able to help you bleed off some of that energy.”

He smiles back and raises an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”

“Follow me.” You walk down the hall when he finally lets go of you , and lead him to a room.

“In here,” you say.

He follows you in, stopping in surprise when he spots the object in the middle of the room.

He looks at you. “This could be interesting.”


Miguel grunts quietly as he thrusts forward. He stops at the look on your face.


“Is that the best you can do?” you ask.

“Of course not!” He sounds indignant. “I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m not fragile, Miguel,” you say as you eye his bare chest. “I can take it.”

“All right,” he smiles, “you asked for it.”

Your body quivers as he thrusts forward, and a slight shock runs through you. “That’s more like it!”

You tense for his next thrust. “Good…put your body into it.”

“You got it!” He moves again.

“Harder,” you say. “Harder!”

He pants with the effort, and is soon glistening with sweat.

“No pain, no gain,” you whisper, causing him to smile, and thrust harder.

“This,” he says, “is an excellent way to get rid of extra energy.”

“I knew you would like it,” you respond as your body is driven back by a hard thrust.


This goes on for about another 30 minutes: you saying “Harder,” him responding with harder thrusts.

He looks into your eyes a lot, and smiles often at you. Finally, he stops with a moan.

“That’s it, I can’t go any further…I’m all out of energy.”

“Awww, too bad,” you say with a smile.

He gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for helping me out,” he says and takes off his boxing gloves.

You move away from the punching bag you were holding for him, and smile. “Any time, Migs…any time.”

Gutter Index


The Hike

Okay, y'all know the drill......"You are once again on the seaQuest".....

You walk down the hall, wondering just what the heck you are going to do with your two day shore leave. You decide that buying another lemon meringue pie is tempting, but you doubt that Brody will wear the kilt again.

You head towards the dock, still going over your options, when you hear voices. You peek around the corner.

"We gotta have one more person," Miguel says.

"Who are we going to find on such short notice?" Brody asks. "Better yet, who'd be willing to go on a hike today?" (see where this is heading??)

You're eyes light up, and, if you were a cartoon character, there'd be a lightbulb above your head. You clear your throat and step around the corner.

"Hi, guys!"

They greet you back, and you make small talk for awhile. They ask what your plans are for the next couple days, and you shrug. (Miguel secretly hopes it involves buying another pie....he REALLY enjoyed the last one).

"I was thinking about going for a hike," you sigh, "but I can't find anyone to go with."

The two men exchange glances, and you imagine the sound of a bat connecting with a ball (HOME RUN!)

"What a coincidence," Brody says with a little suspicion. "We were going to do the same thing."

"Really?" You are soooo innocent sounding that you almost make yourself sick.

"I have an idea," Miguel says.


You stumble yet again as you make your way through the forest, cursing the tree branch that just smacked you in the face. Brody is trying hard not to laugh, and that only darkens your mood more.

He catches up to you, and whispers in your ear. "I'm wise to're no hiker." His breath feels oh so nice as it tickles your neck, and you turn to him.

"What-ever do you mean?" You gaze into his eyes, and miss seeing the stump you are about to walk into.

Brody grabs your arm, saving you from a possibly nasty fall. "Be careful," he says. "I wouldn't want to have to carry you back." He smiles. " want me to?"

Miguel looks back at you two, rolls his eyes, and continues to walk.....straight off of the river bank.

He splashes into the water.


Brody lets go of your arm, and rushes to the river side. Miguel is splashing in the water. You walk to the bank, look at him, and sigh.

"Miguel? Stand up."

He stops thrashing, and stands. "You are no fun," he mumbles as he gets out of the water.

He looks down. "Now I'm all wet...I gotta dry off before I freeze." He starts to take his pants off.

"It's warm out Migs," Brody says, "you're pants will dry on you."

"Shut up Jim!" you say.

They look at with suspicion, but you recover quickly.

"Miguel needs to get those pants off, or he might…uh....get a rash."

Miguel laughs, and takes his pants off. You look at his Calvin Klein boxer briefs and smile.

"I always sort of thought of you as a boxers sort of guy." You look at Brody. "How about you?"

Brody turns red and looks away.

You sigh, "I meant....what type do you wear?"

Brody turns back to you. "I KNEW you had another reason for wanting us in the woods!"

You smile slightly, and walk up to him. You whisper something in his ear, causing him to turn bright red.

"THAT was suppose to be a secret!!!" he says.

Miguel clears his throat. "Ummm...shall I leave you two alone?"

You look at Miguel, pausing briefly to take in his wet white boxer briefs *:collective sigh here:*, and shrug. "No, it's okay...I was just, uh, reminding Jim of…something."

Miguel's eyebrow goes up in amusement. "And what might that be?"

You look at Brody and smile mischievously, "Oh...just a little thing involving a game of pool....and a kilt."

Brody turns red as Miguel laughs. "Really?? Oh, come gotta tell me this!"

He leans casually against a tree and folds his arms. *:double collective sigh:*

Brody shoots him a dirty look. "There is NOTHING wrong with a kilt."

"Of course there isn't," you say, "Brody is a fine Scottish name." You pause, then wink at Miguel. "And I might add that you wear one well, the traditional sense, of course."

Miguel bursts out laughing, and Brody glares at you.

"That does it!" Brody yells as he moves towards you.

You know that you should run, but curiosity makes you stay. Brody grabs you, lifts you into his arms, and carries you over to the river's edge. You shriek (half heartedly) in protest.

"Wanna go for a swim?" Brody asks casually.

"You wouldn't dare!" you say as you tighten your grip around his masculine, strong, muscular, ever-so-manly shoulders (ooops, carried away there..heh heh ehe)

He smiles at you. "Oh, wouldn't I?"

"No, you wouldn't," you say. "Wanna know why?"

He pauses and looks into your eyes. "Why?"

"Because you're a gentleman." You smile as he falters slightly. "One more thing," You lean forward, whisper something in his ear, then lean back.

Brody eyes have a glazed over look as he lowers you to the ground....but he doesn't release you from his grip.

"Is that so?" He finally asks.

You nod.

"AHEM!" Miguel says. "Remember me?? The wet guy??"

"Keep your pants on," Brody says as he stares at you.

"Interesting choice of words," Miguel quips. He turns his back to you, bends down and picks up his pants. *:collective sigh, AND a gasp:*

You watch, somewhat disappointed as he puts his pants back on.....BUT, they are still wet, and seems to stick in certain places.

You cough lightly, turn away, and try to get your thoughts in some sort of order.

"You two ready to head back?" Miguel asks.

"Oh, yeah," Brody agrees quickly and looks at you. "The sooner the better."

You smile at him, then shrug at the silent question look Miguel gives you.

"What?" Miguel says....then it dawns on him. He walks over to you, looks you straight in the eyes, and smiles knowingly.

"'re all wet!" you says, an instant before you push him back into the river.

"AGGHHH!" He stands up quickly. "You little....." he reaches out, grabs your arm, and starts to pull you in.

You, in turn, grab onto Brody's arm. The two of you fall into the river. You land on Miguel, and Brody lands on you.

Miguel sputters, and sits up. The water is at chest height, and he glares down at you as you lay across his lap. Brody gets off of your back, and sits in the water. You start to laugh.

"Oh, go soak your head!" Miguel says and pulls you back under the water.

He makes his way back to shore, climbs out, and lays down on the bank.

You lay on your back, and start to float.

"You going to stay in?" Brody asks you.

"For a little while," you reply. "It's nice and cool in here."

Brody smiles slightly and sinks under the water. You look around for him, and screech as he pops up right beside you.

He grabs you into his arms and stares into your eyes.

I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations....... ;P

Gutter Index


Poker Studs

**You are once again aboard the seaQuest..yadda, yadda, yadda...**

"Okay, I'm in," you say as you calmly regard the others at the table.

"Count me in," Tim says with a slight smirk.

"Me too," Miguel says. The three of you look at Jim Brody.

"Well?" you ask.

Brody takes a large drink from his glass, and nods. "I'm in."

"Good," Tony says. "I bet $5." He puts the money into the large pot in the middle of the table. Everyone adds their money.

Tony smiles as he lays his cards on the table. "Three jacks....beat that!"

Everyone moans and throws their cards down.

"That's the third hand you've won," Tim O'Neill says. "What's your secret?"

"Wouldn't you like ta know," Tony says, then winks at you.

"Yes, I would like to know," Tim continues. "I want to win some of my money back!"

Miguel laughs, and takes a drink from his glass.

Tony eyes everyone's glass, then stands. "Anyone want a refill?"

"Bout time you offered," you say. "Some host you are!"

"Hey! Be happy that we all have a two day leave here....or else ya'd be drinkin' water, instead of beer."

"Ohhhhhh," you breathe sarcastically. "Two whole days leave. We're not even in port Tony. This is just like spending your vacation at work!"

Brody leans over and whispers in your ear, "Maybe I can help you get your mind off of work?"

He leans back, smiles slightly, and finishes off the rest of his beer.

Miguel looks at your slightly flushed face, then at Brody. He chuckles, and shakes his head. "I would think that you would get tired of propositioning her, Jim."

Brody puts on his most innocent look. "I was not proper...propst...I was not!"

Tim looks at him. "Are you slurring your words?"

"Nooooooo," Brody claims. "I'm just tired."

He accepts another beer from Tony, and takes a drink. He stops, and looks at it. "Tony?"

Tony turns. "Yeah?"

"How did you get this beer onboard?"

Tony senses a trap, and shrugs.

Brody decides that he's feeling to good to play *Head Security* tonight. "It's good beer." He looks at the table. "Who's deal?"

Miguel shakes his head, and grabs the cards.


Tim smiles gleefully as he pulls his winnings towards him. He laughs to himself, but stops when he notices Tony glaring at him. "Sorry," Tim mutters.

"No need to apologize Tim," you say. "Tony's just a poor loser."

"I'll poor loser you," Tony mumbles. He gets up, goes to the fridge, and gets more beer.

Tim smiles at you. "Are you a poor loser?"

You return his smile. "I don't know.....I never lose."

Tim turns red at the tone you used. He coughs lightly, and turns his attention back to the game.

You reach out for your beer, and bring the glass up.

"Hey!" Brody says. "That's my beer."

"It is? Oh, sorry." You look him in the eyes, take a sip from the glass, and lick the foam off your lips.

"Here." You hand the glass back to him.

Brody stares at you as he holds the glass. "You are soooo much trouble, you know that?"

You smile sweetly. "Why, yes I am....thank you for noticing."

You both jump as a hand waves between the two of you.

"Are you two playing?" Miguel asks. "Poker, I mean?"

Tim and Tony burst out laughing.

Brody leans back in his seat and smiles to himself as he takes a drink of his beer.

You look at the other's with you. "Are you guys drunk?"

"Yep," Tony says. "Nope."

Miguel shrugs. "I'll let you know in the morning."

"I'm not," Tim says as he stands. He weaves a bit, and sits back down. "Welll...maybe a little." He blinks. "Umm...maybe a lot." He looks at Tony. "What kinda beer is this?"

"Normal beer," Tony says. "Ya just had too many."

"Oh." Tim leans his head on the table and closes his eyes. "Wake me when the room stops spinning."


The night passes quickly, and soon only you, Miguel, and Brody are left playing.

Tony leans back against the wall and moans. "I can't believe she cleaned me out!"

You smile. "I'm sorry Tony.....honest."

Brody reaches under the table, and puts a hand on your lap. "You gonna deal, or what?" he slurs.

Or what!!!! you think. "Seven card stud, follow the bitch."

Miguel nearly spits his beer out. "Follow the what?!"

"Follow the bitch," you repeat. "Face up, the card following the queen is wild, until another queen shows, then the card following that one is the wild card. Got it?"

He nods.

You deal the cards, and smile as a queen shows in Brody's hand. "Okay, next card is wild." You deal all the cards, then nod.

"Okay...three was wild...but no more...the five followed the bitch, so that's the wild card."

Brody leans to you and again whispers in your ear. "I love it when you talk dirty."

You cover a laugh, and look at him. "And I love it when you slur in my ear."

He smiles, totally missing the mild insult. He glances at his 'hole' card, and flips it over. "A five."

You moan at his hand. "Three aces. Nice hand."

Miguel is about to comment when he notices the door slid open. His eyes grow wide.

"Uhhh....Jim?" Brody looks at him (You and Brody are sitting with your backs to the door)


"Ummm...what would you do if Ford or Bridger ever showed up here?"

Brody shrugs. "Nothin'...they'd never show up here." He winks at you, and once again puts his hand on your lap. This time, he starts to caress your leg.

You notice the look on Miguel's face, and slowly glance behind you.

Ford waves at you, then motions for you to be silent. He has a definate smirk on his face.

You turn back, and look at Brody. "Why wouldn't Ford come in here?"

Brody shrugs as his hand moves up your leg. "Poker's not his type of game," he slurs.

"And what IS my game?" Ford asks.

Brody's eyes grow wide, then close. "Shit!"

He stands quickly, and puts a hand on your shoulder to steady himself.



Ford walks to the table. You are all uncomfortable as Ford scans each of your faces. His gaze pauses on the passed out figure of Tim, who is still sitting at the table, then he looks at Brody again.

"Uhhhhh....I can 'splain this," Brody says.

Ford crosses his arms. "So...'splain." He smiles slightly. "Attention!"

You and Miguel spring to your feet and snap to attention. Brody does too, but doubles over in pain when he slams his thumb into his eye.

"No need to salute," Ford says easily.

Brody straightens, a hand over his eye. "Now you tell me."

"Have you been drinking?" Ford asks.

"Define drinking," Brody says.

Ford shakes his head. "You've been drinking." He looks at the three of you. "Any beer left?"

"Uhhh...yes, sir," you say. "Want one?"

Miguel closes his eyes at that remark.

Ford smiles. "Don't mind if I do."

He looks at the table. "Got room for one more?"

"You got money?" Brody asks.

Ford gives him a 'I can't believe you asked that' look.

Miguel hands Ford a beer and sits. He looks curiously at him.

Ford sighs. "Hey, I'm on days off, too."

You laugh, and sit in your chair.

Brody sits beside you, and continues with the caressing that was so rudely interrupted.

The end.

Gutter Index


Masquerade Party

Prologue- "A masquerade party?" Lucas asked.

Lonnie nodded her head. "It's a great idea!" She thought for a moment. "And I know just the thing to come as."

"Me too," Dagwood said. "What's a masquerade party?"

"It's when people dress up in costumes," you tell him.

"Oh. What would Dagwood come as?"

"I'm going as a mad scientist," Lucas said. (Big stretch there?)


The room was dimly lit as you entered, and you decided that this was one of Lonnie's better "limited shore leave" ideas. You look around, trying to pick out your friends, trying to recognize costumes.

Tim walks up to you and smiles. "You look great!" he gushes. "Where did you get the idea for that costume?"

You look down at the wisps of cloth you are wearing. "From a book I'm reading.....'Arabian Nights'."

"It suits you," he says as he eyes your belly dancer's outfit. "Is it really from Arabian Nights?"

You laugh and shrug. "And where did you get yours from?"

Tim puts his arms out, so you can see his entire outfit. It consists of an ancient-leather type outfit, breast plate, funny hat, and sword. "I'm Joxer The Mighty."

You raise an eyebrow. "Uhhhhh..."

"1990's television?" he says, then launches into a song. "Joxer the mighty, master of virility. Every woman wants him, he's so sexy it's a sin. If you want a special kiss, he's the man you can't resist."

His voice carries across the room, and you try not to laugh as you blush.

"Have you been drinking, Tim?" a voice says from behind you. You turn around as Tim stoops singing, and blink at the sight of Commander Ford.

"No, I haven't been drinking," Tim says. "Not in the last two minutes at least." He spots someone at the other end of the room, and takes off.

You turn back to Ford, and look him over. "Nice outfit," you say. "I never pictured you as a riverboat gambler."

He laughs slightly. "Well.....I always liked the old west. Besides, there's not much to choose from when you have one days notice." "How true," you laugh. "You seem to have had enough time to find an outfit."

You smile slightly. "This old thing? Why, I had this lying around."

Ford blushes slightly, then smiles. "Really. And do"

"I could be tempted to," you smile. "But, comes your date."

Ford sighs, puts on a smile, and turns. He steps back at the site of his date. Lonnie smiles at him, and you try not to laugh. The last thing you EVER expected Lonnie to show up as, was a nun.

"Hi!" she chirps. "Having fun?" She eyes your outfit. "Nice. It suits you."

"So does yours!" you say. "Excuse me." You walk away quickly, duck into a corner, and double over in laughter.

A shadow falls over you, and you glance up. You stand, and stare open mouthed at the sight of Miguel Ortiz. He is dressed in tight white speedos, a short red coat, and has a whistle hanging around his neck.

He smiles. "I'm a lifeguard," he explains.

You try to speak, but all sorts of interesting scenarios are suddenly running through you mind.

"Are you all right?" he asks with concern as he leans closer to you. "Do you need....CPR?" He raises an eyebrow.

You nod, and find your voice. "Mouth to mouth would be good." you say as he leans even closer. You close your eyes in anticipation. He moves in, pausing to look down the top of your outfit.


Twenty minutes later, you walk out of the shadows of the corner, followed buy a very happy looking Miguel. He grabs your arm, causing you to stop.

"Hold on," he says. "You top's crooked."

He spends an unusual amount of time straightening it for you, smiling the entire time. "I always liked this outfit on you," he says. "Would you object to a dance?"

You swallow hard as the scenarios once again come to mind. "Not at, or would you like a 'private' showing?"

Miguel's eyes grow wide. He coughs slightly. "I'll be right back," he mutters, and walks away quickly.

You laugh as you watch him go, and turn your attention back to the crowd. You see Lonnie dancing in her habit; Lucas with his hair a mess, wearing a white lab coat; Tim, still wearing his 'Joxer' hat, posing with his hands on hips for a table of women; Ford looking mighty dapper as a riverboat gambler. Someone taps you on the shoulder, and you turn.

"Hiya!" Tony says. "Nice outfit."

"Thanks," you say. "Yours too." You smile. "Yep....nice pinstripes."

"Hey!" Tony smiles. "All the gangster's from the '30's wore these." He looks around, staring on shock at the sight of Lonnie, then continues to look. "Seen Dags?"

You nod. "Just look for the big guy in the police uniform."

"Dagwood came as a cop??" Tony blinks in amazement. "Hope he don't try ta arrest me." He spots a woman sitting alone at a table. "If you will excuse me....I see someone that needs me."

You watch Tony leave, and scan the room for the last of your friends. Jim Brody is nowhere to be seen. You jump as a sheet is suddenly put around your face, and whirl into the arms of Jim Brody.

"Well, hello my little belly dancer," he says with an exaggerated accent. "Shall we dance?"

You nod, and he leads you onto the floor. He pulls you closer with the sheet, and stares into your eyes.

"What's with the sheet?" you whisper. "You're dressed as a pirate."

He nods. "Yeah, but I saw you with that outfit, and I couldn't resist the 'sheik' bit." He tosses the sheet onto a table, and dances you to the middle of the floor. "Besides, I'm a buccaneer, not a pirate."

"Same difference," you whisper in to his chest.

"Oh...but there 'is' a difference," he says. "And I shall prove it to you." He dances you off into a corner, puts your back against the wall, and leans close.

"The penalty for not knowing the difference is a kiss.....a long....kiss."

You pay the penalty willingly.

"You know," he whispers as his hands move along your body, "I always liked that outfit on you."

The End

Gutter Index


The Present

Tony Piccolo stopped walking when he saw you approaching form the other direction. He breathed on the back of his hand, checked his breath, and satisfied that it wouldn't kill you, smiled.

"Hi Tony," you say as you walk by him.

"Hi!" he turns to watch you go. "Hey?"

You turn. "Yeah?"

"There's a movie playin' tonight in Rec Room 3...wanna see it?"

"Sure," you reply. Then, you notice a package in his hands.

"What's that?"

He opens the box and holds it out. "For my sister. Her b-day is next week."

You take the totally adorable teddy bear out of the box. "Oh, this is so cute! How old is she going to be?"

"How should I know?" Tony asks. "I don' even know if it's a she."

You look up at him, shocked. He laughs.

"My sis is gonna be 15," he pauses. "She ain't too old for teddy bears, is she?"

"Nope," you reply. "Most females love to get these little guys as gifts."

"Really?" he asks in an interested voice.


Tony walked out of the sub's store, clutching a brown bag in his hands.

This will get her! he thinks in glee. After all, chicks love teddy bears.

He rounds the corner and takes a step back as you appear in front of him.

"Hi Tony," you say. "Whatcha got in the bag?"

"Nuttin'" he says quickly.

"Pretty big for nuttin'" you smile. "Is it a gift?"


"Who for?" you are curious.


"For me?" you ask innocently.

"Uhhh..." Tony turns a nice shade of pink. "You'll find out later."

You smile again. "Oh, I do love surprises," you say in a silky voice.

"You do?"

"Yes...very much so." You step closer to him, and he backs against the wall. "And, I always show my appreciation to the gift giver."

Tony swallows hard. " do??" His fingers tighten around the bag. "How?"

You move even closer. "Oh, I think a preview might be in order."

You slowly move to his face, and deliver the longest, sweetest kiss that he has ever experienced in his entire life.

You hear a tearing sound, and glance down to find that his fingers have ripped through the bag he's holding.

You move back slightly, and smile. "And, like in the movies, that was only a preview."

Tony inhales deeply. "A preview?" He swallows again as he tries to get the blood moving back to his brain. "And the main attraction?"

You lean to him again, and whisper in his ear. He turns pink, then red, then smiles broadly. You feel something hard against your leg, and pull back.

"What's that?" you whisper and raise your eyebrow.

"It's my pal," Tony says.

Your eyes grow wide as he digs in his pocket and pulls out his PAL.

"Ohhhhh....your PAL!" You look at the small communications device and laugh lightly.



Tony walks along the hall, stops, and looks down at his hands.

"Wha?! Oh, shit!" He runs down the hall, and bangs in Miguel.

Miguel steps back and glares at him. "Damn Tony, watch it!"

"Sorry" Tony mumbles.

"What's your rush?"

"I lost it."

"Lost what?" Miguel asks.

"A teddy." Tony leans against the wall. "I gotta find it."

Miguel raises an eyebrow. "A what? Tony, is there something you want to talk about? ya know......?"

Tony's eyes narrow. "A teddyBEAR!"

Miguel shrugs. "The offer is still open."

Tony sighs. "I bought it as a gift for someone...can ya help me find it?"

Miguel laughs. "Sure, I have nothing to do tonight. What's it look like?"

"Like a teddy bear!"

"Well, that narrows it down." Miguel laughs again. "Retrace your steps after you bought it."

"Gotta retrace my steps," Tony mumbles. "Lemme see....I bought it...went to dinner. The mess hall!!"

He runs off. He NEEDS to find the teddy bear, and all his mind can think about is your "main attraction."

This is hilarious! And I thought tonight was going to be dull! Miguel thinks as he follows after Tony.


Miguel and Tony run into the mess hall and start to look around.

Miguel heads for the dessert section, grabs a pastry, and starts to eat.

Tony runs up to him. "It ain't here. Will you stop stuffin' your face and help!"

"Hey!" Miguel says in a defensive voice. "I gotta keep my strength up if we're gonna be running all over the sub." He grabs two more pastries and follows Tony.

"Okay...where did you go next?" Miguel asks through a full mouth.

"Then I went to...laundry." Tony says, and takes off.


Tony runs up to the counter in laundry and bangs on it. Soon, a person appears.

"Yes?" she asks.

"I'm looking for a teddy," Tony says, slightly out of breath.

The woman looks him over. "I'd say you're a 32 long."

Miguel bursts out laughing.


"Oh." She looks around. "Sorry, no teddy bears here."

Miguel is still laughing. "Okay...where next?"

Tony thinks for a moment. "Uhh......C deck."


Tony rushes into C deck, where he promptly smashes into Brody, who is checking a few things out.

"WATCH IT!" Brody says sternly.

"Sorry sir," Tony apologizes. "I'm looking for a teddy."

Brody looks at him, and sighs. "Well, it is in the regulations."



Miguel nearly falls into he poll, he is laughing so hard.

"I wish everyone would stop that!" Tony says, nearing the breaking point. His dreams of a night of 'the kinkiest, funkiest main attraction' from you is slowly slipping from his grasp.

"Relax," Brody says, "I know your looking for a teddy bear...hell, the whole sub knows by now. I was joking."


"You're such an easy target at times....I couldn't resist." Brody is trying not to laugh.

"Thanks a lot.....sir!" Tony grumbles. "Have you seen it?"


"You have?" Hope surges through Tony.


Tony looks ready to scream.

Brody sighs. "I saw you with it earlier."


"The bridge."

"The bridge!" Tony repeats. "Of course!!" He runs off.

Miguel runs after him, still laughing.


Tony runs onto the bridge, and stops. You are at your station, with the teddy bear in a seat beside you.

Tony turns away. "I remember now....I left it at her station earlier."

Miguel looks at him. "You mean to tell me that you had me running all over this tub looking for that thing???? And you forgot to mention that you left it here????"

Tony shrugs. "Sorry, but I had other things on my mind."

Miguel sighs. "You owe me big time for this one."

"No prob," Tony assures him. "That is if I'm still able to walk tomorrow." He winks, and swaggers up to your station.

The End.

Gutter Index


Krieg's Picnic

You walk along the edge of the gutter, happy to be free of the seaQuest for a few days. Your only regret is that both Miguel, and Brody are not with you, both having made prior family arrangements for their shore leave.

You glance to your left as someone calls your name, miss a step, and start to fall into the water.

Suddenly, strong hands grab you from behind, and pull you back onto the side. You look behind you, and find the nicest set of eyes staring at you.

You thank the man, and lean into him slightly. You have seen him around the gutter before, but have never actually met until now.

"Hi," he says. "I'm Ben Krieg."

"Hello Ben Krieg," you say.

He smiles. "And you are?"

"Free for dinner," you reply, "say....eightish?"

He blinks in surprise, then his smile grows bigger. "It's a date....just one thing?"


"Your name?"

You laugh lightly and touch his chest. "Why don't you try to guess, and I'll let you know."

He laughs, and fakes being deep in thought. Horror crosses his face. "It's not Rumplestiltskin, is it?"

You smile. "How'd you know?"

Just then, Tony walks up and smiles at you.

"Why ain't ya wet?" he asks, a fraction of a second before he shoves you into the gutter.

You pop up out of the water, cursing Tony's fleeing back.

Kreig takes off his shirt, strikes a ridiculous pose, and announces, "Have no fear....Kreig is here!!"

He then dives into the water, and appears beside you.

You laugh, and swim away. He follows, and soon grabs onto your leg.

"Oh no you don't!" He pulls you towards him, and smiles at you. "Now...are you going to tell me your name, or do I have to resort to water torture?"

"And what if I like water torture?" you ask with a smirk.

"You know, I think you and I are going to have a wonderful date." He leans back, and looks at the sky.


You are waiting outside of the gutter for Krieg to pick you up for your dinner date. A bus pulls up to the stop outside the gutter, and Krieg hops off. You eye the basket in his hand, and raise your eyebrows in curiosity.

"I thought we could dine under the stars," he says as he pushes open the gutter gate.

You look down at your thigh high dress and sigh, "I'm not dressed for a picnic."

He glances at you. "Sure ya are."

You sit in one of the lounge chairs and watch as he spreads out the meal.

"Roasted chicken, salad, french bread, and wine." he says as he pulls each item out. He looks up at you. "They're from my restaurant."

"I thought you managed a fast food joint?"

He laughs. "I use to....I bought a classy 'joint' a few months ago."

You nod and sit down on the blanket. You take the plate he offers, and dig in. "This is really good."

"But of course."

The two of you make small talk for a while, chatting about mutual friends aboard the seaQuest, the gutter, and food.

Krieg pours you another wine, looks at the bottle, and then reaches for another one.

"Why, Ben Krieg," you whisper, "are you trying to get me drunk?"

He looks astonished. "Of course not.......unless, you want me to?"

You roll your eyes at him, and reach for the dessert he passes over. (Cheesecake! My favorite food group!)

You take a bite, letting the smooth texture melt on your tongue.

"Oh, dear," he says in a mock tone.


"You seem to have gotten some of the cheesecake on your face." He points. "Here, let me get that for you."

Your eyes grow wide as he leans forward, and kisses you. He pulls back and smiles. "There, all clean."

You stare at him in pleasant surprise, "Are you sure? I mean, there's not a crumb somewhere?"

He moves in close. "I dunno...I'll have to check." He gazes into your eyes. "Oh, wait...yes...there IS a crumb." He kisses you again.

"Did you get it?" you ask, all innocence.

He shakes his head. "Pesky little crumb. This is going to take sometime."

"I'm free all night." (No comments, please!)

"You are?" he pauses in thought. "Good." He kisses you again, pulls back, and sighs. "There's only gonna be one way to get rid of that crumb."

"What?" you ask, not really knowing if you want to find out the answer.

"A swim."

"A...swim?" You smile. "But I don't have a swimsuit with me."

He studies your face for a few moments. "Do you need one?"

The question was asked casually, but the meaning was quite plain.

"Ummmmmm....uhhhh.....heh heh," you laugh nervously.

"Wait! Hold on!" he stands. "That's not what I meant." He turns a light shade of red. "I meant, can't you swim with that dress you're wearing?"

"I could." You are somewhat relieved, although disappointed that he hadn't meant a skinny dip.

"You can? Good." He grabs your hand, and jumps into the gutter.

"Ben Krieg!" you screech as soon as you surface.

"Yes?" he asks innocently.

You glare at him. "Next time, give me a little warning!"

"I will..hey, trust me." (Trust Krieg. Oxymoron?)

You swim a little bit away, and stop.

"You coming?" (Again, no comments ;) )

He dives under the water, and appears by your side. "I thought you would never ask." He takes you in his arms, and kisses you.

You shiver.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah," (That's it, cold...yeah.)

"Awwww...come on....let's get out of here, and I'll warm you up." He helps you out of the gutter, and wraps a small blanket around your shoulders.

The two of you talk, and kiss for the rest of the evening.

"Are you warmer now?" he asks.

You nod. "Yes."

"Good," he shivers, "then could I have the blanket before I freeze?"

You gape at him, and then throw the blanket at his face. "So much for chivalry!"

"Hard to be noble when I'm freezin' my butt off, ya know." He opens the blanket up. "But, I'm not a total cad. There's plenty of room for two in here."

You smile, and go to him. He wraps his arms around you, and you lay back on the ground, looking up at the stars. The End.

Gutter Index


Tim's Turn


*writers note** The movie 'Sid And Nancy' is about Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols, and his girlfriend Nancy Spungen. The movie is brilliant, violent, and confusing.****


"This is a silly movie," Tim O'Neill said for the fifth time. "I mean...looks at those outfits! Leather....ugh!"

You sigh and look at him. "Tim...'Sid And Nancy' is a classic. It embodies all the angst of the punk rock movement, and draws the viewer into a darker side of the mind."

He glances at you in amusement. "It does, does it?"

"Yep," you say, and toss him the movie cover. "Says so right on the box." You smile slightly. "Beside, there's something to be said for dog collars, and leather." You wink at him as he turns red with embarrassment. "Bet I could make you see what I mean."

Tim coughs loudly and squirms in his seat. "How?"

You shrug. "I have my up for it?"

He blinks at the challenge in your voice. "I dunno..."

"What's the matter O'Neill? Afraid to be proved wrong?"

"Wrong? Wrong? Never!" he sits forward, the movie forgotten. "You're on! When, and where?"

"My quarters....Now!"

He hesitates, but sees Jim and Miguel watching from the counter. They are laughing, and Jim is about to put money in Miguel's hand. They have heard your conversation, and are obviously betting on it. Tim frowns. "You got it!"

Miguel groans as you and Tim get up, and Jim smiles as he collects twenty bucks from Miguel.


Tim walks in behind you, and jumps as you reach across his shoulder to close the door. "No witnesses," you say with a wink.

Tim stands in one spot, and fidgets. "What now?"

You face him. "Now, you sit in that chair while I change, and I show you just how enticing leather can be."

You disappear behind a small dressing screen in the corner, and soon appear. Tim drops the book he had been leafing through, and stares at you.

"Now," you say as you strut up to him. "Tell me that this is not enticing." You lean forward.

Tim looks down your cleavage....and there is plenty of that! "It''s...uh......"

"Come on Tim!" You say in a harsh voice. "Get into the game!"

He looks shocked. "Uhhh...." he moves in his chair so he is more comfortable, and his cheek brushes against your chest. He stops, stares, turns bright red, and starts to hyperventilate.

You step back to give him air. "Breathe Tim," you order. You wait until he is breathing normally again, then you go to your side table. You pull out a small object and hold it out for him to see.

"Thumb cuffs?" he asks, and then turns red at your questioning look.

"Why, yes, these ARE thumb cuffs." You approach. "And how did you know that?"

He turns a brighter shade of red.

"Why Tim.....are you a closet kink-meister?"

He stands. "A what???"

You smile. "A closet kink-meister.....someone who is all shy on the surface," you approach and stand in front of him. "But underneath, they are a smoldering bunch of sex, just waiting for the right opportunity to unleash their true self show the world." You put your leg between his and lean into him. "So," you breathe in his ear, "are you?"

Tim reaches out slowly and runs his fingers along the smoothness of your leathered arm. His fingers move to the front of your outfit, along the chest, and down the other arm.

"I just might be," he whispers. "Got any other outfits?"


"This feels pretty good," Tim says as he looks down at himself.

You glance at his outfit, consisting of leather pants, a leather vest, and a spiked dog collar. "You look great in leather," you say in a purring voice. "And now....shall we play?"

He eyes the small whip in your hand and hesitates. "Are you going to hit me with that thing?"

You nod, and snap it in the air.

"Good," Tim whispers. You motion for him to turn around, and he faces the wall. You lash out with the whip, and he jumps in pain as it connects with his backside.

"Again," he whispers, and jumps as it hits him again. "MORE!!!" he says.

You lash at him a few more times before he turns around. "Now, it's my turn."

You smile as you pass over the whip, and turn. You jump as it hits you.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Tim asks in a worried voice.

"Not at all," you assure him. You turn back around and endure a few more hits.

Tim holds the whip in his hand and smiles. "That was great!!!!! Got any more toys?" He sounds like a kid at Christmas.

"I knew you had a kinky side to you!!!" You rummage through your bedside table, pulling out an wide assortment of adult toys.

"Where did you get all this stuff?" he asks as he looks through them.

"Here and there," you reply.

"You lead a very interesting life," he comments as he picks up bottle of oil. He smiles and looks at you.

You nod, and in one swift move, take off your leather bodice.

He stares, wide eyed, then smiles.


You moan in pleasure as his hands glide along your back. He moves slightly, so as not to crush you, and straddles your...uh....hips. His body is moving with the rhythm as he massages you, and, more than once, his hands move under your sides.

You move, and roll over under him. He smiles at the sight, and starts to run his hands along your front. His fingers dance lightly over your chest, then down to your stomach. He glances at the table.

"Put these thumb cuffs on, and then lay on the bed." he orders.

You look shocked.

"Relax....we won't do anything you don't want to," he says as he puts the cuffs on you. He reaches for something, and pulls out a silk scarf.

"Now," he says in a playful voice. "What shall I do with this?"

You study his face. You new that there was another side to the shy communications officer, but you never dreamed that he would get so into the 'game'.

"Oh, I know," he says. He leans over your body, puts the scarf through the thumb cuffs, and ties the scarf to the bottom of the shelf above your bed. "There. It's not too tight, is it?"

You shake your head.

"Good," he says, and sits back up. He continues rubbing your body.

You moan lightly, the restrictions of the cuffs and scarf adding to the excitement.

"Does that feel good?" Tim whispers. He moves his hands along your stomach, concentration on the section just above your micro mini skirt's top. He smiles as your body writhes slightly under his touch, and he rubs harder. "Like that do you?"

You nod. "Oh......yes.....please....uncuff me," you moan.

"Not just yet," he whispers as his fingers move under the top of your skirt.

The touch is ever so light, but it burns into your soul. You never imagined that this man could make you feel this way, and you like the way the evening is heading. You pull against your thumbcuffs, and that only heightens the pleasure even more. You close your eyes in enjoyment, only to have them snap open when the feeling of Tim's fingers disappear.

"Hold on," Tim whispers as he rummages through the assortment of adult toys on your night table.

"Uncuff me," you say. "I have one thing you might be interested in."


"This is for your pleasure," you assure him. He reluctantly uncuffs you, and you reach back in your night table. You pull out a small whip, with over a dozen tassels on the end.

"We did the whip already," he says.

"Not like this we haven't," you grab him by the shoulders, and roll over until he is under you. "Now, close your eyes." He closes them, and you take the silk scarf and put it over his eyes.


"Relax," you whisper into his ear as you tie the scarf. Then you reach for four more scarf, and tie his hands and legs securely to the bed.

He jump as you trail the whip along his leg, and onto his stomach. You reach for a large feather, and tickle his side with it. He moans in pleasure, and tries to move. You flick the whip lightly against the crotch of his pants, and he gasps in delight.

"Like that?" you ask.

He nods and wets his lips. You flick the whip a few more times, and at the same time, run the feather along his chest. Tim moans loudly and tries to move under the scarves.

"Ohhhh......" he moans. "Oh, my........" You runs the feather over his lips, and along his neck, resulting in more moans.

You lean forward and blow in his ear.

"Ohhhhhh...ohhhhhhh.....ohhhhhhhh," he says loudly. He tries to move again, but finding that he cannot, moans louder.

"Ohhhh..ahhhhhh.....this is great!"

"Do you believe me now about leather?" you ask in a sultry voice.

"I'll believe anything you tell me!" he says loudly. His body jerks upward, and he pulls against the scarves. "Oh, god...please...untie me!"

"Why?" you ask innocently.

"Because I want to do you!!"

You stop and stare at him. "Really?"

"YES!" he moans "OH, GOD!!! YES!!!!!!"

You lean forward, the feel of you bare chest against his making his body jerk again. You are laying completely on his body, and can feel the rock hardness of his body. "Are you a virgin?" you whisper, then lick the outside of his ear.


"Don't lie to me, Tim!" you nibble on his ear.

"I'm not!" he vows.

You smile as you pull your body along his. He yells out in ecstasy.

You untie the scarves, and remove the one from his eyes. He blinks, then focuses on the breasts in his face. His arms wrap around you as he shoves his face into your cleavage. He rolls over until he is on top, pulls back, and looks into your eyes.

He move down your body, until he is at your knees. His hands glide up the inside of your thighs, pause for just a moment, then continue. You push against his fingers as they explore, little moans escaping from your lips. He moves off of you, sits on the bed, and leans to your chest. His lips encircle each one, and a you let out a small cry.

His fingers are still below your skirt, playing, exploring, teasing. Your body moves in sync with his hands, causing him to go faster. He pulls away from your chest, and moves to your neck. His fingers move out from under your skirt, and he grabs the top of it, and pull it off.

"First things first," he says. "I want to savor ALL of you."

You smile, and nod in agreement as he kisses his way down your body.

The end.

Gutter Index


The Beach

The glass vibrated slightly as you tapped your fingers on the table. You are completely bored, and in the mood for something to do.

Tony had already tried to get you to go to a movie, but you weren't in the mood. You want to do something 'different'.

But what? You try to think about what it is you want to do, when a shadow falls over the table.

You look up into the face of Commander Ford.

"Mind if I join you?" he asks. "All the other tables are full."

"Be all means," you reply and motion to the chair. hmmmmmm...Ford.....this could be just what you're looking for.

You make small talk for a few minutes, getting the necessary pleasantries out of the way. Then, you ask, "Got any plans for tomorrow?"

He glances at you. "Why?" he asks in a wary voice.

"Just curious," you say. Uh-oh...maybe Jim has been telling him stories about you.

Ford hesitates slightly. "Actually, I don't have any you?"

You shrug. "Not really," you lie, as dozens of 'ideas' flash through your mind. "I was toying with the idea of going to a beach, but I hate to go alone."

"So, that's your plan?"

"Pardon?" You look at him innocently.

"If you want me to go to the beach with you, all you have to do is ask." Ford takes a drink of his coffee.

You smile. Okay, this is definitely something that will take your mind off of your boredom.


Ford squints slightly in the sunlight as he puts his sunglasses on. He looks around. "What did you say this beach was called?"

"Wreck Beach."

"I've never heard of it."

You feign shock. "You've never heard of it? Oh, my!" You smile sweetly. "Wreck Beach is the best nude beach in this city."

He stares at you. "The best what beach????"


"That's it, I'm outta here!" He grabs his bag, and turns to leave.

"Oh, come on...stay," you say. "It's not required for you to be nude."

He stares at you. He's not buying this. You decide to try another route.

"Look at it this're topless, and that's like being half nude. Besides, the bus doesn't come along for another hour, so you got a long walk ahead of you to get back to the docks."

Just then, a group of very 'busty' women walk by, and enter the changing room.

"Well.....I guess it wouldn't hurt to go in," Ford says. "Just until the bus comes, that is," he adds quickly.

"Of course." You turn to go to the changing room. "Just let me get into my suit....I'll meet you by the snack bar."


You walk up to Ford, and tap him on the shoulder. He turns, and drops his drink on the sand.

"What the..."

You smile at him. "I thought we agreed to go topless?"

Ford stares at you, "Me...not you!"

You sigh. "Jonathan?"


"Could you look me in the eyes when you talk to me?"

"Of course," he says, but continues to stare.

You smile slightly. Oh, yeah…this is JUST what you needed to get rid of the boredom. You grab your beach bag, and walk away.

Ford follows quickly, and walks beside you. "Good thing I came with you," he says. "Dressed like that, you're going to need someone to protect you."

"I'm a grown woman, Jonathan," you smile.

"That I can see." Then he realizes what he said, and blushes.

"This looks like a good spot." You spread out the blanket, and lay down on it.

Ford stands by the blanket.

"You gonna stand there all day?"


"You're blocking the sun," you explain. "I want to get an even tan."

He blushes again, and sits down.

The two of you make small talk, but Ford still doesn't exactly relax…or look you in the eyes for that matter.

You roll over onto your stomach. "Could you do me a favor and put some suntan lotion on my back?" you ask as you pass him the bottle.

He takes the bottle, opens it, and drips the contents onto your back.

"Yikes!" You jump slightly. "That's cold."


"Well.....are you going to rub it in?"

Ford hesitates, and you hear him clearing his throat. "Uhhhh..."

You look up at him. "Oh, come on....Do you mean to tell me that you've never rubbed lotion onto a woman's back before?"

"Not on a nude beach, no."

"Don't be a wuss."

His eyes grow wide. "Wuss?" he repeats. "I'll show you wuss."

He starts to rub the lotion on your back. You lay back down, relaxing in the surprising gentle touch of his hands. You close your eyes, and start to feel drowsy as his hands glide over your back.

"Are you falling asleep?" he asks in a low voice.

You nod lightly. "I think have great hands....mmmmm....that feels good."

He falters slightly, but continues to rub. "Uh…thanks."

You know that all the lotion must be rubbed in by now, but you decide not to mention it as his hands move across your back.

"Did you need your legs done too?" he asks in a conversational voice.

You nod. "Sure." Then, you jump as the cold lotion hits your leg.

"Ooops." He sounds like he's enjoying this.

You sigh in contentment as his hands move up, down, and along your legs. OH, yeah! This is definitely better than sitting around being bored.


You open your eyes with a start, and look around. Ford is leaning on a back rest, enjoying the 'scenery'. He looks down at you.

"How long was I asleep for?"

"Little under an hour," he says as he looks at hs watch.

"You're going to miss your bus," you point out.

"So I'll catch the next one." He looks around. "This is really a nice beach."

"Uh-huh." You follow his gaze, and shake your head at the group of women he is 'viewing'.

You roll over onto your back. "Gotta get an even tan," you explain to him as you pass over the tanning lotion.

He smiles. "Aw, what the hell." He takes the lotion, holds it over your body, and squeezes.

"Aiiiieeeeee!" you almost scream as the cold lotion lands on your....uh...body.

You close your eyes and lay back as his hands start to rub the lotion in. The touch is even softer than it had been on your back, and you are glad that you invited him to the beach. You dig your own fingers into the cool sand beside you as his fingers dance lightly over your skin.

After a few minutes of blissful rubbing, he leans back on the blanket. "Got any plans for later?" he asks.

"Not really," you say and look at him. He is laying on his side, propped up on one elbow. "I was thinking about going to a nightclub I know. Wanna come?"

"It's not a nude nightclub, is it?" he laughs.


He starts to agree, then pauses. "It's not a strip club, right?"

"No." Darn! There goes plan A....better switch to plan B. "It's just an ordinary club...good food, good music...good company." You smile shyly.

He smiles back. "I'll go...on one condition."


"That you don't tell anyone that I came to this beach."


"Deal." He smiles again. "Sooo...did you need any more lotion applied?"

You smile back at him. "Oh, yeah."

The End.

Gutter Index


Sunburn Solutions

You walk slowly along the halls of the seaQuest, your back still a little sore from the sunburn you suffered a few days ago. Although Ford had been anxious to apply the suntan lotion to your body, you stayed out in the sun longer than you should have.

You walk by two crewmembers that are arguing, and you turn the volume up on your Discman to drown them out. You walk into an empty rec. room, and sit on the arm of the couch. The music is so loud, that you fail to notice Miguel as he walks up behind you.

"Hi," he says....."HI!"

You are in your own little world as the music blasts through your head.

You feel a hand on your shoulder, and fearing the pain that the sunburn would cause, you jump and spin around.

Miguel jumps back slightly. "Hi," he says in a small voice. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"HUH?!" You say loudly, then turn the music down. "Did you want me?"(heh heh ehe)

Miguel smiles slightly, knowing that he is treading in dangerous waters with that open question. "Actually, yes, I do want you."

*drool* "For?" you prompt.

"Well, I was wondering if you picked up any good music last shore leave?"

Darn it! "Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did." You take the head phones off and pass them to him. He takes them and puts them on.

He listens for a few moments, and frowns. "What the hell is that?"


"Opera!?" he goes to take the headphones off. You reach out and grab his hand, stopping him.

"Give it a chance, Migs." You smile. "Opera can be very sexual, if you know what to listen for."

"It...can?" He adjusts the headphones and listens more.

You look around, just to make sure that the room is indeed empty. Strangely enough, your sunburn is not bothering you anymore. "Do what I say.....I'll show you how good Opera can be."

You take his hand, and place it against your chest. Miguel's eyes grow wide, but he leaves his hand there.

"Now," you say. "Feel my heartbeat?"

"Among other things," he admits.

"This is serious Migs, pay attention."

"Oh, I me."

"Okay. Now, close your eyes...listen to the music...feel my heartbeat."

You watch as he closes his eyes...then he smiles.

"Feel the sensuality in the music?" you ask.

"Ummmm...yeah," he says in a strange voice. He clears his throat. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." You are acutely aware that he has not moved his hand from your chest yet.

"Got any more opera CD’s?" he asks. "And are you busy tonight?"


You look around the large room, squinting in the half-light.

So...this is it, you think. Cargo Bay 4(?). Not too shabby. Out of all the times you have been with Miguel, you have never been in this room.

You look up as Miguel walks out from behind a crate. "Just tidying up a bit," he tries to explain.

You hold out your hand and pass him a few more opera CD’s.

He smiles as he looks them over. "Why don't you have a seat?" he says as he puts a CD into the stereo. He turns the music to a low level, and joins you.

"Okay," he whispers as he looks into your eyes. "About feeling this music?"

"Still want to learn about opera?" you ask softly.

He shrugs. "Well, I like the hands on approach method that you teach." He reaches out and brushes a stray hair from your face. His fingers trail down your cheek, and along your shoulder. You inhale slightly.

"Sunburn," you answer to his questioning look.

He pulls back and shakes his head. "You went to Wreck Beach, didn't you."

You nod. "Uhhh...yeah."

"Why didn't you invite me?" he asks in a fake hurt voice. "You know I love that place."

"I know you do," you say dryly. "I would have thought that you would want to stay far from that place after what happened the last time."

Miguel blushed slightly. "That was not my fault....The sign...uh....was missing from the was an honest mistake."

You start to laugh. "Honest my ass!" You laugh harder. You clear your throat, and look him straight in the eyes.

"Honest officer," you say in a mimic of Miguel's tone, "I didn't know it was the female's changing room....the wind must have blown the sign down." You laugh again.

"As I recall," Miguel says, "you didn't seem to mind."

You stare at him as the image ran through your mind for the thousandth time. “Uh… ready to learn about opera?”

“Definitely…and maybe later, we can, uh, reminisce about Wreck Beach?” He smiles at you.

“I think we could do that.”

You take his hand and place it on your chest again. “Okay…hear the music…feel the music.” You sigh. “I said feel the ‘music’.”

“Sorry,” he says. “Honest mistake.” He smiles. “Look, how about we forget this ‘feel the music’ stuff, and make our OWN music.” He leans forward and kisses you lightly on the lips.

You kiss him back. “Okay…I can go with that.”

Miguel pulls you toward him and kisses you again. “And then, I’ll see what I can do to help you ease the pain of that sunburn.”

The End.

Gutter Index


Heh heh ehe

"I bet ya can't!" Tony said. He put his face right upto yours and smiled.

"Really?" you reply. "Twenty bucks says I can."

"Twenty bucks is nuttin'" Tony scoffs. "Make it one hundred, and ya got a deal!"

"Deal!" you agree. One hundred bucks?! Oh, shit. Damn it! Why didn't you just walk away when Tony brought the subject of abstinence up? And what the HELL is HE doing talking about such a thing?

"Good!" Tony almost yells. "One hundred says you can't stay celibate for three days."

You look around quickly. "Will you lower your voice! Damn! It's no big thing, Tony...I've done longer than that before."

"You have?" he sounds worried. " rule!"


"Yeah! New can't um......uh....well, ya know."

"No, Tony, I don't know." You are enjoying the discomfort in his face as he tries to think up the new rule. "Why don't you just say it?"

" can't....kiss anyone during the three days."

"WHAT?!" You take a step towards him.

Tony takes a step back. "That's the bet."

"Hold on here....'I' can't kiss anyone?"


You smile. "It is a deal Mr. Piccolo. Say bye-bye to your cash."

He pauses. " about we bet something other than money."

"You don't have any on you, do you?" You sigh when he shakes his head. " about.....The first day, it's the money.....after that, the loser has to walk through the halls in their underwear?"

Been there, done that, Tony thinks. "Okay."

You shake hands.


Tony exhaled loudly, and watched as you sat at ease in the rec room. Damn it, he thinks. Only one day left, and she hasn't kissed any one. I can't parade around in my underwear! It was embarrassing enough the first time!

Tony decides that he needs a little "help" to make him win. He spots his target, and casually walks over.

"Lieutenant?" he asks.

Brody looks up at him. "Yeah?"

Tony sits in the chair next to him, and leans over. "She likes you, you know."


Tony nods in your direction. "I heard her talkin' with a couple other chicks about it."

Brody looks, then smiles at you as you look at him. He turns his attention back to Tony. "What did she say?"

Tony leans in close, and whispers a few things.

Brody straightens in his chair, looks at you in surprise, then goes back to Tony. "She said that?"

Tony nods. "Yep." He leans back and smiles.


"Is this seat taken?"

You look up and smile. "Only by you."

Brody sits down and leans close. "Busy?"

Only by you. "Not at the moment."

He leans forward and kisses you. He pulls back at a yell behind him. Tony is laughing, and pointing.

"What the hell....?" Brody looks confused.

"One moment," you say and stand up. You walk to Tony, grab him by the arm, and drag him to a corner. "What?!"

"You lost!" he says happily.

"I did?" You ask. "What were the rules Tony?"

"That you couldn't kiss anyone."

"And did I kiss anyone?" Your eyebrow goes up. "Or, did he kiss me?"

Tony stares at you then starts to sputter. "That's…that's....oh, hell...those were the rules."

You look at him with an unbelievable smug expression. "Yes, they were. Now, if you will excuse me, I have...uh....something to attend to."

Tony watches in dismay as you make your way back to Brody. He notices as you whisper something in the Lieutenant's ear.


For the rest of the night, you take a perverse pleasure in watching Tony as he watches Brody kiss you. Never once do you initiate the smooch-fest.

Tony runs over to you when Jim gets up and walks to the table Miguel is sitting at.

"This is NOT fair!" Tony hisses at you.

"You made the rules, darling," you say with glee. "What's wrong? Afraid you'll have to parade around in your underwear?" You run your gaze over him. "Trust me, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

Tony burns bright red at your left-handed compliment. "Uhhh..thanks." He scurries off as Brody appears again.

He looks curiously from Brody, to Miguel, then back to you. You are equally curious by the 'thumbs-up' signal that Brody and Miguel give each other.

Tony watches in dismay as Brody once again kisses you,(this time with tongue) and leads you onto the floor as a slow song starts. Brody kisses you again.(again with tongue...heh heh ehe)

Damn it Jim...come up for air! Tony thinks as he sees his life as a 'streaker' looming before him.


You have an enchanting evening, enjoying both Brody's sensual kisses that bring a quiver to your knees, and the sight of Tony as he glances at his watch with a panicked expression. You look at Miguel, and notice that he too is looking at his watch in anticipation. What the hell did Jim tell him during their conversation???

The tone on your watch chimes midnight, and you smile at Tony in absolute glee.


Tony looks at his watch, and realizes that it is midnight.

"Aggh!" He has lost the bet.

You look at him and smile again.

He sighs as he takes off his pants, and walks through the hall. He glares at a few cat calls, and smiles at the few women who throw nice compliments, mentally remembering their names for later.

Tony stops by Miguel, who moans and bangs his head against the wall.

"What?" Tony asks.

Miguel glares at him. "Jim bet me $200.00 that you would be walking around in your underwear before the night is over."

Tony's mouth drops, realizes that he has been had, then he takes off at a run, Miguel hot on his tail.


Brody smiles at you as he holds you in his arms. You smile back.

"Shame on them for betting on us," you whisper.

"Serves them right," Brody says. "Dinner tomorrow night?"

You nod and kiss him again. "Some place expensive."

"Courtesy of Miguel," Jim adds, before he kisses you again.

"Of course," you say. " you have any idea on tonight??"

"Indeed I do," Brody replies with an incredibly sexy wicked smile.

The End.

Gutter Index


Birthday Surprise

You walk along the hall of the seaQuest, knowing that you are late for lunch, and knowing that all the good food is probably gone. You round the corner and step back quickly as a group almost bangs into you.

"What's up?" you ask.

Tony looks at you. "The mess is closed!"


He shrugs and leans against the wall.

"I heard someone say that the cook is sick," Tim volunteers.

"There are a lot of cooks," Miguel says. "Let one of them take over...I'm hungry!"

"Big surprise there, Migs," you say. You spot another person coming along the hallway. "Jim?"

Brody looks up at your voice, and slows slightly. "Yeah..." he asks in a wary voice.

You smile sweetly. "Why is the mess closed?"

He sighs. "Orders from high up. Some party they have to prepare for the brass for tonight when we hit dock."

Everyone moans and complains. "Are we gonna haveta make our own lunch?" Tony asks.

Brody nods, and walks away. You watch him leave. "What's his problem?"

"He thinks no one remembered his birthday," Miguel says with a wink. (Sigh)

"Really?" you ask. "When is it?"

"Today....We're having a party for him tomorrow, when's he's off duty."

"Oh." You absently say goodbye as you mind is halfway through your plan to help Jim celebrate his birthday.


Miguel peeks through the door and checks the hallway before walking out.

"You get them?" you ask.

He nods as he hands over a small bowl. You open it up and smile at the contents. "I risked my career for those," he says bravely.

"And I thank you for that," you purr. You take a step towards him and lean close. "Perhaps later I can show you just *how* much I appreciate it."

He nods and brings his lips down to yours.


You look around the crew recreation kitchen, making sure you have all the ingredients. You open the small bowl Miguel gave you, and gently take the strawberries out and put them onto a small tray.

Next on the list is the whipping cream, which you quickly....uh...whip up.

Now to find the birthday boy. to try to figure out how to get him here without him wanting to know why. I mean, really....trick him into a few compromising positions a few times, and he doesn't trust me......Hmmmm....what if...? Oh, yeah...perfect.


You knock on the door, hoping that he is in his room. The door opens, and Jim Brody looks at you. "What?"

"Why aren't you out on the town with everyone else?" you ask.

"No reason." he shrugs. "Why aren't you?" He steps back slightly at the glint in your eye.

"Can I come in?" you ask innocently enough to make you want to gag. "Why?"

"I have a surprise for you." You hold out a covered tray. "A birthday surprise."

His eyes light up slightly. "Uhhhh...sure, come on in."

You enter, and pull your hand out from behind your back. You hand him part of the present.

He laughs as he takes it and puts it on. "Well?"

You smile. "Cowboy hats look good on you." (Sorry, Cari...couldn't resist it)

He starts to relax, and looks at the covered tray you are holding. "What's that?"

You lift off the cover and hold out the strawberries and cream. "Just a little treat." You take a strawberry, dip it into the cream, and hold it out for him to taste. Before he can take a bite, it falls out of your hand, and goes down the front of his shirt. "Whoops! Sorry!"

Jim looks at the white creamy stain, and sighs. "I bet." He takes the shirt off, and tosses it on his bed. He glances at you. "Next time are you going to try for the pants?"

"Why you honestly think that I would stoop so low as to..." You stop as he crosses his arms and stares at you. "Ummmm......"

He sighs. "You never change, do you?" He grabs a strawberry, dips it into the cream, and holds it out to you.

"You're gonna dump that on me, aren't you."

He nods. "Of course not." He waves it at you. "Come on...take a me." He holds it steady as you slowly put your lips around it. There is a bit of cream left on his fingers, which he promptly wipes on your collar. "Oppps....Better get that off before it stains."

"Yes, sir!" You quickly take your shirt off, and smile.

He smiles back, then goes to his closet. He returns with a small bottle. "Sorry, no champagne...all I can offer is cider."

"Good enough," you answer, wondering how you can 'innocently' spill a glass of it onto his pants.

He hands a glass of the cider to you, and you clink glasses in honor of his birthday. Suddenly, it hits you!

"There's fuzz on your hat," you say as you lean towards him. You lean a little bit too far, loosing your balance. He puts his hands out to steady you, and your arm hits the glass in his hand.

Jim jumps back as the cool cider spills over his pants and soaks him to the skin. "Gaaaaaa!" He looks at your innocent face. "I knew it!!!!!!" He unbuttons the top, and stops. "Was it your plan to get me into my birthday suit?"

You nod and smile. " can leave your hat on."

The End.

Gutter Index


Back To The Beach

The sun was barely up as you walked along the dock away from the seaQuest. You shield your eyes, and slip your sun glasses on. Whew! Looks like it's going to be a hot one.

A noise from behind catches your attention, and you turn around to see Tim walk towards you.

"Hi," he says as he walks by you.

"Hi," you reply...and watch him as he walks to the small restaurant at the end of the dock. lightly chew your lip as you try to decide. Aw, what the hell.

You start to follow Tim...then a blur catches your eye as it moves rapidly towards you.

"Hi!" Brody exclaims as he jumps to a stop right in front of your startled face.

"Hi," you smile at him. "Can I help you?"

He smiles mischievously. "I was just gonna get something to eat....can I tempt you for a....bite?"

You bite the inside of you cheek to keep from coughing. "Umm...sure...maybe a....nibble."


Tim waves the two of you over as soon as he sees you. You both sit down and give the waitress your orders.

"So...what's your plans for today?" you ask Tim.

He shrugs slightly. "Oh, I don't know....I was thinking about getting back to nature."

Oh, yeah! Hoo-ha! "Umm...I might know of a place to get back to nature."

He looks hopeful. "You do?"

"Oh, yes," you nod. "There's a beach close by....excellent for nature watching."

"Could you take me there?" he asks; excited by the prospect of getting out into the fresh air, and staring at something besides a console.

" wanna come too, Jim?"

Brody narrows his eyes slightly. "What beach...." his eyes light up as he connects with the beach in question. "Ahhhh...I think I know which beach....and I wouldn't miss going for the world."


"So, what's the name of this beach?" Tim asks.

"Wreck Beach," you reply as you head for the changing rooms.

"Wreck Beach," Tim repeats. He looks at Brody. "Why doesn't that sound familiar?"

Brody smiles wryly. " can't be expected to remember the name of every clothing optional beach around." He sets off for the changing rooms.

HUH? "Clothing ?WHAT? beach??!!!" He looks around wildly for an escape, and runs to you as you walk out of the changing room. "Did you know that this is a nudist beach?!"

"Calm down, Tim," you say. "And it's clothing optional," you look at Brody as he comes out of the changing rooms. "*Big* difference."

Brody smiles sweetly, and re-adjusts the towel he has around his waist. "I'll see you two later." He sets off for the water.

"Oh, you can count on it," you say under your breath. *Ahem* " wanted to get back to nature."

"I said I wanted to *see* nature!"

"No," you shake your head. "You said that you wanted to get back to nature." You put your hands on your hips. "Look....just go topless, k?"


You stop beside a large rock. "This is a good spot....not too many people around."

Tim flops on the sand. "Perfect." His eyes never go higher than one foot off the ground as he rummages through his bag.....(perhaps I should use 'pack' instead?) for his book. He finds it, sits back, and starts to read.

You reach behind you, unhook the top to your bikini, and remove it. You drop it on his foot.

Tim glances at it. "What did you just do?"

"I thought we agreed to go topless?"

"Me!...Not you!"

You blink as a feeling of deja vu passes over you. You seem to recall having this same conversation with Jonathan Ford at this same beach last summer.

Curiosity gets the better of Tim. He takes one look up at you, and immediately puts his book on his....lap. "Uhhhhhh" he closes his eyes as he tries to think of something to say. "Uhhhhhh......nice tan."

"Why thank you," you turn around in front of him so he can get the full effect. You bend down in front of him, rummage through your beach bag, and pull out a small bottle. As you straighten up, you can't help but notice that Tim is no longer interested in his book.

"Need a closer look?" you ask slyly as you lean closer to him.

Tim's eyes grow wide, but he does not move away.

"Here," you say as you open the small bottle. "Zinc oxide....wouldn't want anything of importance to get burned." You reach in and get some on your fingers. You lean towards Tim again, and start to apply some to his nose. You glance down...and lean a little closer. Tim gulps as your chest sways dangerously close to his face.

You straighten, and look at handy work. Tim looks up at you with a blue nose.

"Oh, dear," you lament.


You bite your lip. "Well, I can't put my own sunscreen on now," you say, then give him a little pout, "My fingers have zinc all over them." You pull out your sunscreen and hold it out. "Do you think that you could help me?" You sound so innocently sweet that it almost makes you sick, but you press on. "It would mean so much if you could rub this on me."

Tim takes the bottle, and has to tighten his grip to keep it from falling to the sand.

You lay down in the sand beside him. "Make sure you get the cream all over me." You smile as you hear Tim cough loudly behind you. You roll over and put an arm behind you head.

"Tim...everyone is born's a natural state."

He gulps. "I's just...uh...." He covers his awkward moment by squeezing the cream all over your stomach.

"Yipes!!!" Your stomach retreats slightly from the coldness of the sunscreen. You smile. "Aren't you gonna rub it in?"

His eyes go wide again. "Okay."

You close your eyes as his hands touch your body. They are hesitant at first, then start to get more relaxed as he moves along. The touch feels marvelous, and you have to concentrate on keeping your breathing normal.

You are jolted out of your 'state' by something being placed over your body. You open your eyes, and sit up...holding the towel to your chest.

Brody plops down beside you and Tim.

"You didn't have to cover her up," he says. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"What!" Tim exclaims.

"The female body," Brody says....then winks at you. He stands, and takes the towel away from his waist.

You try not to frown at the sight of his swim trunks. *Dang!*

"Anyone hungry?" Tim asks.

You nod. "I could go for a snack."

He stands. "I'll get us something....where's the snack bar?"

Brody points to the other end of the beach. "Go straight...hang a left at the group of topless women...not the first group, but the second. Then, go until you hit the three nude women on the yellow blanket...turn towards the women playing nude volleyball...and..."

You interrupt him. "Other side of the changing rooms where we came in." You watch as an embarrassed Tim walks away. You turn to Jim. "You are sooo bad!"

He smiles wickedly. "Wanna see just how bad I *can* get?" He leans towrd you.

Ummmm..lemme think......"Okay."

He smiles, grabs your bathing top and towel, and takes off running.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!! "James Brody!" you yell. "Get back here!" You run after him, and quickly catch up. You dive, tackling him.

He wraps his arms around you, and rolls over so that he is on top. "Was there something you wanted?" he ask; his word dripping with inuendo.

" that you mention it." You smile sweetly. "I need a date for tonight."

"When, and where?" he asks as he lets his body sink closer to yours.


The End....maybe...

Gutter Index



"Okay, what seems to be the problem," Miguel says as he walked into your room. He stops, smiling at you as you lay on your bed.

"Can you help me?" you ask innocently.

He eyes what you are doing. "I think I might just be able to." He sits down beside you and reaches for your lap. You push his hands away. "I have to touch it if I'm going to help."

"Sorry," you murmur. You pass him the small rubber piece. "Think it will fit?"

"Hmmmm..." he inspects it. "Could be a tight fit." He studies it and then holds it out. "Shall I do the honors?"

"Be my guest," you reply as you lean back against the wall. You watch as Miguel fingers the small rubber piece, and then faces you.

"Ready?" he asks as he leans towards you.

"Yep." You push slightly as he leans in. "It's...kinda...a...tight fit," you pant as you keep pushing.

Miguel leans back a bit. "Hold on to it...let me get some leverage." He puts one hand on the side wall and pushes with all his might. He pulls back. "Nope...not gonna work. It's too big."

"What if we oiled it up?" you offer.

"That might work. Got any?" He waits patiently as you rummage through a drawer for some oil. You get back to you bed and open the top of the oil bottle.

"Here goes," you say as you squeeze some out and onto the rubber piece.

"Careful," Miguel advises. "Too much could ruin it."

You lean back against the wall again. "This time, try wiggling it a bit while you push....I'll push against you at the same time."

"You got it," he says with a smile. "Ready?" He leans towards you as you nod. You both push with all your might.

"It's going it!" you squeal with excitement.

All of a sudden, it goes in completely, causing Miguel to fall on top of you.

"MMMppphhhh." He pulls back. "Sorry. I lost my balance."

"No problem," you say. "Think the ol' cannon will work in there?"

Miguel nods. "I guarantee." He pauses to admire his handy work.

You roll over and put the 'ship in the bottle model' you just finished on your nightstand. The small rubber cannon sits perfectly where it is suppose to go.

"Next time, make sure you get a big enough bottle to build your models in. We could have broken it trying to put that cannon on just now."

The end.

Gutter Index


Winter Chills

brrrrrrr You find yourself shivering for the tenth time today, and wonder for the hundredth time why you volunteered for this little experiment. You glance across the pool at Jim Brody and Miguel Ortiz. Oh, yeah…that's the reason you volunteered.

"Cold?" Miguel asks as he sits beside you.

"No, why do you ask?" You frown as your words make small puffs in the air. "Why would standing around in nearly freezing water, wearing only a diving suit make me cold?" You try to make yourself comfortable on the small step that runs the length of the pool, but the water keeps making you slip off.

"Then why did you volunteer to test out these new Arctic survival wet suits?" Brody asked as he stretched lightly.

"Because I couldn't let you have all the fun!" You stand up and bounce slightly. "Damn, I think my butt cheeks are frozen!"

Miguel glances at them. "Look okay to me."

You sigh. "How much longer to we have to be here?"

Brody looks at the timer on the wall. "Umm...let's see...we have to be in here for eight hours...and we got in here at...uh...hmmmmm." He laughs softly at the look on your face. "Ya know, I really wasn't watching the clock. I think we should start over and..."


Brody jumps at your shriek. "Damn! I'm kidding! We got five minutes left!"

"Jim Brody, I'll get you for that."

Brody smiles. "All in good time," he says with a wink.

You didn't think it possible, but you are starting to sweat. "Ummm…K." You cough, and try to clear your mind. You turn to Miguel. "So, how are you going to warm yourself up after we get out?"

Miguel shrugs lightly. "Oh, I'll find someone...I mean, some way."

"Uh-huh," Brody says. "Well, just make sure your, uh, some way, doesn't end up in the Jacuzzi." He looks straight at you. "Because that's where I'm heading."

Hot tub, got it..."Oh, that sounds great!" you say, and then innocently add, "does the women's changing room have one too?"

Nope," Brody says, "just the one in the pool area."

The pool area is closed now," Miguel offers.

"I have clearance," Brody says as he gives him a dirty look.

"Oh," Miguel says…then it dawns on him what Brody means. "Oh!" He looks at you with a smile. "I think Jim is inviting you too join him in the hot tub...alone."

Aw, jeeze!!!! You elbow Miguel in the ribs as Brody sinks into the water in embarrassment.

Miguel laughs as the bell sounds for the three of you to get out of the freezing water.


You lean back, sighing in contentment as the heat makes it's way through your cold limbs. You reach up and wipe the sweat from your face.


You look at Jim Brody and nod. "Much better than that freezing water."

Brody leans over the edge of the hot tub. "There, turned it down a bit." He smiles. "Wouldn't want you to get sick from the heat."

"How noble of you." You stretch into the water and sink down to your neck.

"Ohhh, now that's great."

Is your butt thawed yet?" Brody asks in an innocent voice.

"Uh, yeah." You glance at him. "But I think my toes are now toesicles."

"I thought the doctor gave us all a clean bill of hea..." Brody stops as what you are implying hits him. "Toesicles, you say? Need help warming them up?"

You hold your foot out of the bubbling water and he takes it in his hands. He slowly lowers it into the water as he gently massages the top. You shiver slightly.

"Still cold?" he asks as his hands travel to your calves. "Oh,'re positively frigid."

Oh, gee, thanks!!!!!!!! "Charmer."

"You know I didn't mean it like that," he whispers as he repositions himself in the hot tub. "How are those shoulders?"

"Rather cold," you tell him.

"Aw…well, I really should get to work on those...get the blood flowing."

Trust me, you think, my blood's flowing rather good now. You look up at a sound. "You sure no one will come in here?"

"Yep," Brody says as his hands glide along your upper back.

"What about security?"

"I bribed them."

You turn to look at him. "You? Head of seaQuest security? You bribed them?"

"Sort of." He motions you to turn back around, and then starts to work on your lower back. "The head of security here is a friend of mine. She needed a date for some function, so I introduced her to Tim."

"And in return?"

"She let me use the pool area after hours." "Speaking of the pool," you say as you look into the crystal clear water a few meters away from the Jacuzzi. "Wanna take a dip?"

"Only if we can get back in here after."

"Of course," you say. "I may have some other parts that need warming up."

Brody smiles at you as he helps you out of the hot tub. "Only too happy to oblige."

The End.

Gutter Index


Kate's Contributions To The Gutter

(Or, The Chocolate Donut Fiasco)
By Kate

"How the HECK do you expect me to get these into Hudson's quarters?" you hiss. "I haven't been able to get anything by him since the silly string incident on the bridge!"

Lonnie Henderson just smirks and holds up a lavender leather bound book tied closed with a ribbon. "Either you do it or I show Lucas all the stuff you've been writing about him in here."


Lonnie giggled and said innocently, "You left it on Mag-Lev yesterday..."

"Oh that's right..." you grumble, making a grab for it.

Lonnie yanks it out of reach and says, "Nuh-uh you get this back only if you pull this off."

"Oh fine," you grumble, picking up the box of Captain Hudson's favorite chocolate donuts and heading down to his quarters, thankful he was on the bridge now. You ignore the curious glances of other crew members and seem to study the top of the box.

All you can think of is how you're going to kill Lonnie for this. If she wanted to suck up to Hudson she could have done it herself but noooo....she had to get you into it by stealing your diary.

Finally you reach the captain's quarters. You want to just leave the donuts outside the door but part of the deal was you had to get them on his desk. You crack the door open and tiptoe in, leaving them on the desk like planned. You take a deep breath as now all you have to do is get out of here. You turn to leave...

...and there's Captain Hudson leaning against the door.

"Damn." That's all you can say. You turn around, pick up the box and hold it out to him saying, "It was Henderson's idea, if you wanna get mad at somebody get mad at her, she was blackmailing me and..." you shut up when you realize you're babbling.

"Blackmail?" Hudson queried.

You nodded and explained the whole thing about the diary, conveniently leaving out all the stuff you wrote about a certain tall, blonde and very cute computer analyst. You finish up with, "She's gonna find out I didn't pull it off, so I'm in trouble..."

You step past the captain for a moment and peek down the hall where you see Lonnie leaning against the bulkhead with a smug little smirk. "Gah..." you mutter.

Hudson takes a donut out of the box and offers it to you. "Want one?" he says. You take it and nibble on it, wondering what Lonnie's going to tell Lucas.

Later that night, you're on your second half of a double shift on the bridge when you feel a hand on your shoulder and hear a voice whisper in your ear, "So you really wanted to do that stuff to me?"

You jump about a foot in the air and spin around. "Lucas! Um..hi!" Then you sheepishly nod.

Lucas gives a quick glance around then gives you a kiss on the forehead. "How about I take you up on it next shore leave?"

All you can do is give him a goofy grin and say, "Okay!"

The End.

Gutter Index


seaQuest Fiction

Lillandra's Page!
My web page

You are number to have delved into the depths of the gutter (and my depraved mind)